Blue has been my favorite color ever since I can remember. I've always been fascinated with the color blue. To me it is inexplicably beautiful. Even as a small child I was mystified by my attraction to the color blue. I could never quite concieve of what it was that fascinated me about it, but the sight of a deep blue always gave me a sense of fullness and pleasure. It almost seems like a color that one could dive into, and I don't say that just because it reflects off of water. It actually has a depth to it. I like to think of myself as someone who looks within something and analyses it, rather than someone who merely stares at a shiny serfice without questioning what lies beneath.

The color blue has several conotations surrounding it. On the one hand, people associate the beauty of a clear sky and expansive ocean with the color blue; and on the other hand, people link blue to a sad moodiness. When I was younger, my mother took me to a museum in which lay a painting from Picasso's blue series. His blue series was meant to evoke sadness and it succeeded in doing this, but at the time, I couldn't understand why he chose such a beautiful color to evoke depression. I was torn between the sadness in the gaunt figure's face in the painting and the deep beautiful palette with which Picasso chose to paint. I'm not sure if the term "I'm feeling kind of blue" came before or after the blue series, but these days I associate blue with sadness unless I'm at the beach. Ironically, I enjoy self-pity, sadness, and complaining, so it's appropriate that I have an affinity for the color blue.

When I was a small child I used blue to carve myself an identity and distinguish myself from my younger brother who had to chose a default red as his favorite color. We distinguished our toothbrushes by me having a blue brush and my brother having a red one. If we wanted the same T-shirt, I would get the blue one and he would get the red one. The only upset in this preschool pattern was that I wanted to be a fireman(red) and he a policeman(blue). We grew out of our asprirations for civil serventry when we realized that god might not exist and consequently developed a fear of death. If he had a blue toy I would take it from him and claim it as my own. If he had a red toy I would take it from him as well, because I could.

I've grown to realize that I wouldn't appreciate blue with out all colors of the spectrum. I've grown interested in other colors--even red. But blue still holds a special place in my heart. (Did you know that your blood is blue before it is oxidized?}